Thursday, July 20, 2006

Guilty Pleasure Video Favorites: New Wave and Murder Inc. Edition

OMG, have y'all heard about this YouTube thingy? Let's do it.

Human League, "Human"
Premise: A smoldering-hot Phil Oakey works the hell out of those glorious cheekbones as he sings about his infidelity, against a totally low-production-value blue, watery backdrop, which, why? But anyway, he's only human! Of flesh and blood are made! How can you stay mad at him? Which one of those Dynasty-looking bitches drove him to it? You have to wait until 2:35 to find out. Hint: It's the one with the outrageous doorknocker earrings and short hair.

This song--it's just, well, the fucking cat's pyjamas. It's perfectly crafted, well-written, and lovely. A pop-music slam-dunk. Oakey has the troubador thing down and he's awfully easy on the eyes, as you can see. It never seemed at all weird to me that he wore makeup and earrings--it looked right on him, and on a lot of 80s dudes, come to think of it. If you do a little nosing around on YouTube, you will also find a gem called Young Guns: Human League. Some thoughtful soul has uplaoded a BBC documentary about the band, filled with all sorts of rando information, like the two women in the band were discovered dancing together in a club and poof, the next thing they know, they're in the band, which was, all at once, on the verge of collapsing AND getting ready to tour. Then they become crazy huge and famous. They're still together. And time has been kind to them all. They still look good.

ABC, "The Look of Love"
Premise: Okay, there are like, so many things going on in this video, which is a cross between a live-action Disney movie and a Tom of Finland drawing, that I'm not sure where to start. The barbershop theme? The Umbrellas of Cherbourg technicolor look? Wacky visual puns? It's so wink-wink and cute, but ultimately I don't think this storyline was the best choice for the song. And it must have cost them a fortune, too. I don't know much about ABC, except that Martin Fry was suavemente. I much prefer "Be Near Me," and their, arguably, most famous song "When Smokey Sings" is just kind of meh to me. Sorry I don't have more to offer in the way of analysis.

Ashanti, "Rain on Me"
Premise: Woman on the verge of superstardom and jealous thugged-out boyfriend fight about how he feels left out of her life, even though homey isn't really doing much to be in her life. And he beats her. And cheats on her. And is an all-around jerkass. And one day, Famous Woman can't take no more, no more, no more and gets the hell out. The song is built off of Isaac Hayes' "The Look of Love," which is his version of the Burt Bacharach and Hal David classic, unrelated to the above song by ABC, and made famous by Ms. Dusty Springfield (whew!). All you really need to know is it's good.

Murder Inc., in its prime, had some bad-ass videos. A lot of them are little movies, like the video for Ashanti's first single (I think it was her first) "Foolish," starring Terrence Howard. It's an homage to Goodfellas and is really, really fun to watch. I mean, come on, Terrence Howard can act the pants off of anything. I like the scene with Ashanti, Charli Baltimore, and the other lady (I don’t know who that is, Vida, maybe?) and they’re trying to get the mistress to come down so they can confront her and Charli’s all taking out her earrings, ready to bust her ass. For some reason, that part cracks me up. Anyway, there’s also a pretty good remix of Rain on Me, with Irv Gotti fatting out in the background, doing that “Murder Inc./Ashanti/heh heh heh” whisper thing he does on like, every song of hers, nodding a lot, and generally not adding anything to the video. But Ashanti looks hot, around the way girls represent in full force, and there are cameos from all sorts of Murder Inc. folks, including some verses from Charli Baltimore who's sporting a truly ghetto fabulous by way of Flock of Seagulls hairdo. Speaking of Chuck B-more, I was always intrigued by her. She’s got such an interesting, striking look and scandalous back story, and during Murder Inc.’s heyday, I checked for her in all the videos. Which brings us to…

Ja Rule, feat. Charli Baltimore, “Down Ass Bitch"
Premise: My pop culture knowledge is lacking in the area of cop-buddy flicks, so this very well may be an homage to something, but I can’t say for sure what. And there's a cameo from Clarence Williams III and Eric Roberts, estranged brother of Julia. He's kind of hot, in an old-dude way. Anyway, this too is your formulaic Bonnie and Clyde story, only here, Bonnie and Clyde are Mission: Impossible-like jewel thieves. They get caught robbing some dude. Clyde (Ja Rule) manages to escape, but Bonnie (Charli) gets pinched by the cops. And she won't rat out her Clyde because, as the song's title says, she's a down-ass bitch. Oh, Eric Roberts and the Clarence Williams try to crack her ("We got you! We want him! We want the diamonds! WHERE IS JA?!"), but she's not biting and she takes the fall. Which, in this case, means that she gets turned out in the pokey and the video takes a turn toward prison porn as Charli becomes this lesbionic force to be reckoned with (complete with corn-rows! butch women giving her cartons of cigarettes!), while Ja lounges around a wildly ugly apartment with a lot of velour and sing-yells into the phone to her that she's a down-ass bitch, which, obviously still very important to Ja. Charli eventually gets sprung, and he picks her up and whisks her off to some tropical locale to celebrate their heist. But the dorky cops get the last laugh, and they appear at the end to arrest them again. It's, as Irv Gotti would say, Murder!

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