Singles Going Steady: Tom Waits's "Tom Traubert's Blues"

Welcome to the world, baby girl, indeed!

I don't have much in the way of wisdom or advice to give you—I mean, the basics are: The world is a hard place and you will have your ups and downs, good days and bad, happy times and sad. That's just how it goes. Your heart will get broken a few times, hopefully a very few, but you'll recover. You'll fall in love with stupid, unworthy guys (or girls), but you'll eventually find someone worthy. You'll meet people who'll blow your mind or blow you off. You will be disappointed sometimes, heartened sometimes. You'll get banged up a little, but you'll dust yourself off and keep going. You'll disagree with your parents, but they'll always love you back, no matter how mean you are to them. You'll get mad at the world, but want to see as much of it as possible. You'll learn that what people think of you doesn't matter, but will sometimes care just a little bit. You'll rebel, you'll fight, you'll cry, you'll laugh, you'll sing, you'll scream, you'll live.

Most important is that you'll find something you love and you'll do it, do it, do it. Do the hell out of it.

That's pretty much all there is to this life thing, I think.

The only other science I can drop on you is to steer clear of bad music. Life's too short to waste your time on shitty, meaningless music. Don't get me wrong: There are times when you're going to want to listen to some "Spice Up Your Life"--especially since your mom has all those dolls waiting for you. But try to listen to things that move you, that matter, that make you feel something. And it's perfectly acceptable to judge someone based on what's in her or his CD collection. For example, people who like Ashlee Simpson are to be avoided at all costs. People who like the Pixies? Should be invited to all your parties. People who dig the Dave Matthews Band might get you stoned, but it will probably be skunky weed. People who dig Steely Dan, however, will have better drugs. People who rock out to Hoobastank secretly also love Ashlee Simpson. But people who rock out to Tom Waits will listen to your problems at three in the morning and be your friend for life.

And speaking of Tom Waits, it seems only fitting that I sign off with a little something from his song, "Tom Traubert's Blues." He mentions you in the song, don't you know?

… And it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace/
And a wound that will never heal/
No prima donna, the perfume is on/
An old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey/
And goodnight to the street sweepers, the night watchmen, flame keepers/
And goodnight, Matilda, too …

With love,
Iseult

Tom Waits, "Tom Traubert's Blues (Four sheets to the wind in Copenhagen)"
From the album Small Change, October 1976