Mariah, Sting, and Fiona
Stream-of-consciousness post, forthcoming. Strap in.
Mariah Carey, "We Belong Together"
This song has been in my head for days now. Mariah is so fierce all of a sudden, and I'm all up in her business like an accountant. The video is kind of dull, so you have to look past that, and also look past the fact that she's wearing that white TRB tunic like it's a dress and not a beach cover-up, but that's how Mariah does, and you take it or leave it. The song is so good, though! So catchy and the beat bounces along and you want to bounce along with it. And I like that she's even doing some interesting things with her cadence -- it reminds me (don't laugh) a little of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. It does! Listen to this and her single "Shake It Off," and then listen to "The Crossroads" and "1st of tha Month" off of E 1999 Eternal and you'll TOTALLY understand what I'm saying. No, really. Just listen to the clips on Amazon and you can hear it. Also, she spares us of the vocal gymnastics she's so fond of, and thank Baby Jesus, too, because that shit is tired. What it means when singers do that is that they're either A) unable to sing complicated vocal arrangements and use this as a crutch, while relying on the backing vocals to do the real work, or B) cracked out and too tired to bother with actually singing (see also, Whitney). So big ups to Mariah and congrats on that comeback, girl. I never thought you were crazy.
Sting, *"Like a Beautiful Smile"
Scene: Tower Records; 2:30 in the afternoon; a pleasant, but generic, Sting song plays throughout the store
Players: Drunk seeming young man in baseball cap, everyone in the rock section
Drunk Man (loudly, angrily): Yeah, that's right Sting! You drunk, you! You goddamn chimneysweep. Didn't you used to be in The Police? Huh? DIDN'T YOU!?
Everyone: The fuck?
Le Fin
* Song may have been something other than this, but does it matter, really? They're all pleasant and boring, no?
Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine
Like everyone else, by now I'm sure you've heard the hoopla surrounding Ms. Apple and her near-mythical 2003 album that was shelved because, according to many fansites, "Sony has their head up their asses." I like Fiona Apple and have enjoyed her albums, especially 1999's sublime When the Pawn..., so when it looked like this new record would never see the light of day, I downloaded the mp3s of the aborted sessions to see what all the fuss was about. (And no, I'm not going to reveal where because I don't want to get those folks in trouble, but I will give you a hint: Search for parent directories. You should get lucky that way.) And they are very, very good, as one would suspect of something in which Jon Brion was involved. So now it's been reported that the album will finally be released in time for the holidays, but without Jon Brion at the helm. She's using Mike Elizondo, who's better known for producing club bangers like "In Da Club" and "Let Me Blow Ya Mind," which is pretty ballsy and interesting and I'm super curious as to how it's all going to play out. So I'm glad I have these original mp3s to compare. You should do the same before you decide it's going to be crap. And by "you," I mean, "rabid Fiona fans who are upset about the change in producer." And by "crap," I mean, "produced by someone who's been working mainly in hip-hop." Nobody's saying that shit about Kanye West and his decision to use Jon Brion on his forthcoming Late Registration, right? Trust that Fiona Apple knows what she's doing just as much as Kanye does. That's some next level shit, right there. I don't want to miss it--do you?
Mariah Carey, "We Belong Together"
This song has been in my head for days now. Mariah is so fierce all of a sudden, and I'm all up in her business like an accountant. The video is kind of dull, so you have to look past that, and also look past the fact that she's wearing that white TRB tunic like it's a dress and not a beach cover-up, but that's how Mariah does, and you take it or leave it. The song is so good, though! So catchy and the beat bounces along and you want to bounce along with it. And I like that she's even doing some interesting things with her cadence -- it reminds me (don't laugh) a little of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. It does! Listen to this and her single "Shake It Off," and then listen to "The Crossroads" and "1st of tha Month" off of E 1999 Eternal and you'll TOTALLY understand what I'm saying. No, really. Just listen to the clips on Amazon and you can hear it. Also, she spares us of the vocal gymnastics she's so fond of, and thank Baby Jesus, too, because that shit is tired. What it means when singers do that is that they're either A) unable to sing complicated vocal arrangements and use this as a crutch, while relying on the backing vocals to do the real work, or B) cracked out and too tired to bother with actually singing (see also, Whitney). So big ups to Mariah and congrats on that comeback, girl. I never thought you were crazy.
Sting, *"Like a Beautiful Smile"
Scene: Tower Records; 2:30 in the afternoon; a pleasant, but generic, Sting song plays throughout the store
Players: Drunk seeming young man in baseball cap, everyone in the rock section
Drunk Man (loudly, angrily): Yeah, that's right Sting! You drunk, you! You goddamn chimneysweep. Didn't you used to be in The Police? Huh? DIDN'T YOU!?
Everyone: The fuck?
Le Fin
* Song may have been something other than this, but does it matter, really? They're all pleasant and boring, no?
Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine
Like everyone else, by now I'm sure you've heard the hoopla surrounding Ms. Apple and her near-mythical 2003 album that was shelved because, according to many fansites, "Sony has their head up their asses." I like Fiona Apple and have enjoyed her albums, especially 1999's sublime When the Pawn..., so when it looked like this new record would never see the light of day, I downloaded the mp3s of the aborted sessions to see what all the fuss was about. (And no, I'm not going to reveal where because I don't want to get those folks in trouble, but I will give you a hint: Search for parent directories. You should get lucky that way.) And they are very, very good, as one would suspect of something in which Jon Brion was involved. So now it's been reported that the album will finally be released in time for the holidays, but without Jon Brion at the helm. She's using Mike Elizondo, who's better known for producing club bangers like "In Da Club" and "Let Me Blow Ya Mind," which is pretty ballsy and interesting and I'm super curious as to how it's all going to play out. So I'm glad I have these original mp3s to compare. You should do the same before you decide it's going to be crap. And by "you," I mean, "rabid Fiona fans who are upset about the change in producer." And by "crap," I mean, "produced by someone who's been working mainly in hip-hop." Nobody's saying that shit about Kanye West and his decision to use Jon Brion on his forthcoming Late Registration, right? Trust that Fiona Apple knows what she's doing just as much as Kanye does. That's some next level shit, right there. I don't want to miss it--do you?
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